Recently, I sent an email to Julie Strain. Julie Strain is a porn star (you can find her website at JulieStrain.combut warning, it's not safe for work. Then again, you should know a porn star's website wouldn't be) Anyhoo, she's married to Kevin Eastman, creator of the cartoon The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Here's the email:

Hi!

I was just passing through your website, looking at the pictures when a thought occured to me. It occured to me that you were married to Kevin Eastman, the creator of the one and only greatest mutant turtle cartoon series, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That is like, the most awesome thing ever. I was kindly wondering what it was like to be married to such a genius as Eastman. I mean, Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello, that's just brilliant. Simply brilliant. It must be something else entirely to live with such an imaginative mind.

Also, while I was wading through your pictures, oogling at yout beaver and staring at your breasts, I wondered if you and Eastman, in a moment of passion, would ever dress up like the ninja turtles. I could see how this could be very arousing as the turtles slick, slimy skin would act as a lubricant and keep you moist as Eastman showed you what the real "secret of the ooze" is all about. I would assume that if Eastman would ever dress as a ninja turtle in order to make love, that it would be as Raphael. I think Raphael is the most sensual of all of the ninja turtles, and, after all red is a color of passion.

I, personally, was always fond of Donatello. He seemed to me to be the most intelligent of these "heros on a half shell" and he could work through many problems by just using his mind. I always thought that was really cool. Plus, he didn't need anything metal or sharp to fight with. All he ever needed was a good, sturdy stick and he could really handle that stick well, too. Though, sometimes he did seem like the group's bitch, he often saved the turtles in a clutch. When I was a small lad, I wanted to grow up to be just like him. However, I realized I was not a turtle, nor was I even green. I couldn't really even handle a stick that well. (though I learned later on in life. nudge nudge wink wink, you know, when I took martial arts classes at the YMCA)

I always thought Krang was the worst villian. He was like a little brain looking dude that was mostly kept in a jar, but sometimes he had this robot man suit which looked as if it could kick some serious ass. I'd frequently have nightmares about him which often caused me to wet the bed in sheer terror. I'm not sure if that's what your hubby was going for there, but if so, it worked.

I will now close with the lyrics to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half-shell - Turtle Power
They’re the world’s most fearsome fighting teens (we're really hip)
They’re heroes in a half shell and they’re green, (hey! get a grip!)
When the evil Shredder attacks,
These turtles boys don't cut him no slack.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Splinter taught them to be ninja teens (he's a radical rat)
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines (that's a fact chap)
Raphael is cool but crude, (gimme' a break)
Michaelangelo is a party dude (Hurray!!)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Heroes in a half shell,
Turtle power!

Thank you for the pictures of your boobies and hoo-ha,
Juan Carlos Calhoun


That's it. My favorite part was where I included the lyrics. I'll keep you all updated on anything that happens with this. :-)