It has come to my attention that, now that I have finished college, I must start looking for a real job. OK, I'll play your little "look for a career" game, not like I have anything better to do.
I've got a BA in History from a fairly major university. If I wanted something based on my degree, my choices are really limited. I could either teach, write books, or be on of those historians talking shit about Hitler on the history channel. Did you know that Hitler liked to do Eva Braun doggy style? Neither did he, I just made that up. He seemed like a guy who would like to hit it from the back, gripped tight on those hips though. All I need now is to wear my glasses low on my nose and forge some sort of intimidating facial hair and I'm on easy street.
Writing a book would be a possibility, but that isn't a full time job. I need some benefits and shit. I don't have any health insurance right now so if I were to be stricken with vasculitis or, god forbid, lupus, I would be fucked. No matter how many pages I can write about the US Civil War, or how eloquently I can pontificate over draft riots, it won't save my body from the rigors of disease. It's never vasculitis but it's always lupus so it's really a crap shoot there.
So, it looks like I'm left to teaching. I can do that, I guess. I know my stuff, and I'm working my way in one step at a time. At least I would know better than to fill the children's heads with such silliness as hope and dreams. A special shout out to the state of North Carolina for making lateral entry so difficult. You guys rule. You're a true American hero, you probably drive a Ford truck, we all really love your stories, I hope you find true love.
When it all comes down to it though, I'm open to pretty much anything. I want a decent salary, benefits, and a little bit of a creative outlet. That's all I'm really looking for in a job. If you have one to give me, I'd be willing to entertain offers.
Put your arms around me, I'm feeling on your booty.