On Twitter and How Much I Hate John Mayer

A lot of different technologies have come and gone since I stopped updating this blog the last time about 4 years ago. One, however, that I see standing the test of time, for at least the next six months, is the baby blue behemoth known as Twitter.

Where else on the entire internet can real celebrities, fake celebrities, and non celebrities become internet celebrities, not unlike your blog host and online travel guide here. The best part, however, is that Twitter takes the dividers out of the internet bento box (color: pinku) and gives each of these different levels of celebrity direct @access.

Case in point, those who know me know that I have a long standing hatred of one John Mayer. While I believe that he is talented and performs his craft very well, I find him to otherwise be a complete and total douche firetruck (my latest, favorite, conveyance of douche). Now, if I ever want to put him on blast, all I have to do is type @JohnCMayer and I have another 129 characters of total shit talk to put him on blast. It's like a digital version on gleeking on the back of the dude's neck in algebra class.

Now, I realize that John Mayer could not possibly care one iota about what some chump from North Carolina has to say about his vampire looking ass. He's probably way too busy having sex with all sorts of beautiful women that he doesn't love to even try to give a damn about your boy, M_C here. However, that's the beauty of it. I'm like some middle eastern kid chucking rocks at tanks. It never really does any damage, but I'm just a kid so I'm also just left alone. However, I keep doing it on the off chance that, one day, an American GI pops his head out the hatch and I stick him right in the eye. Maybe one day, John Mayer will take a break from a marathon fellatio session, sit down at his computer desk wiping pubic hair off of his chin, and one of my barbs will hit him right in the old pride.

Besides hate, twitter can be used as an avenue for other things, like advertising. I, for one, was completely sold after Ashton Kutcher advertised for Demi Moore's ass on twitter. The next day, vasoline and kleenex stock rose three points.

In conclusion, I like Twitter and, as far as I'm concerned, the bird will be the word for a long time to come.

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